Saturday, August 29, 2009

Wedding Weekends are Well...

So I left Thursday from Charlottesville for my home town of Chattanooga, TN where I'm in one of my best friends in the world's wedding. I packed my own lunch for the road trip, knowing that as a vegetarian, the places to stop to grab food on the way were not very vegetarian friendly (unless I wanted a wilted prepacked salad or french fries as a meal), and even my one vegetarian standby, the Subway Veggie Delight sub, was not non-corn eater friendly. A blog on that to come.

P.S. I need some new word to describe non-corner eaters. Non corn eater is just such a mouth full.

P.P.S. I also must include the fact that my boyfriend and I broke up right before I left for home (a trip he was supposed to go on with me, so that adds to my sadness) and Ive been very upset the past few days, and will try not to come off as too much of a wet rag in my blog.

Anyways, I went to Whole Foods the night before and got a veggie wrap for the ride. I stopped for lunch at the Tennessee Welcome Center. I wasn't hungry because any food I'd eaten since the breakup did not sit well, but I figured I should try to eat something. Something on the ride reaffirmed my feelings of sad and mopey-ness so by the time I got to the welcome center and sat cautiously in the "pet walk" area (because doggies were not allowed near the picnic tables), trying to avoid doggie poos, I really was a sad sack, a wet rag, basically just a mess. As I was opening my lunch, I wiped away my tears to break out in even more tears because there on my wrap, was a label that was not on the wrap at the bar at Whole Foods. I swear,one word on the label seriously just jumped out at me, but there it was, "Corn Starch". The corn gods were kicking me while I was down and it sucked. Big time.

Thankfully my lack of hunger paid off for the most part. Yes, I still ate a few bites of the offending wrap. But most of it went to my dog, so at least someone came out on top in this situation.

So that was the beginning of a hard battle with corn this weekend, that as I get ready to leave for this wedding, is not over.

I'm really, really trying hard to avoid corn and its derivatives, but I will not give up due to a fall off the wagon, and I realize too that to most people this is a crazy idea, and that its not worth compromising my manners in some situations. For example when, at the bridesmaid luncheon yesterday, Heather, the bride's, grandmother made her special strawberry cake (which looked like it was partly made from Duncan Hines strawberry mix...corn for sure) and a large piece was plopped down in front of me, how am I supposed to say no. I'm at a table with the 20 most important women in my best friend's life, and I'm going to say no to a piece of cake (HER SPECIAL RECIPE! THAT SHE MAKES FOR HER POST MAN! AND HER HAIR DRESSER! AND OUR SENATOR!) that her dear grammy has made for us? No.

I also had a hard time avoiding the special quiche my parents had waiting for me when I got home. Now, I've been a vegetarian for over 3 years now, and yet my parents are still completely clueless as to what to feed me. So they always make me a quiche, which I love -my dad makes the best quiche this side of France. However, this quiche had veggie bacon in it, which was something new they discovered in the past year, and they put in everything they make for me. The veggie bacon, is entirely processed and in no way natural (but I must say, pretty bacon like) and has about 50 corn derivatives in it. Okay, not THAT many, but enough that I stopped counting.

I also need to mention, that I have failed to tell my parents about this little experiment of mine. I know they freak out enough about me not eating meat and how to feed me, I didn't want to add corn to the list of no-nos. But as I walked in the house, tired and defeated, and they are beaming at the wonderful quiche my dad has made (one of his best ever - swiss, spinach and mushrooms with veggie bacon), I couldn't say no. However, I did try to pick it out and give most of it to my dog. She comes out on top again.

So these were the biggest falls off the wagon, and I'm trying my best to avoid corn. I truly am. But I'm in the South, I'm with family and friends who are trying to shove food down my throat because in the words of my friend Lesley, a "Skinny Minnie", I'm emotionally exhausted and too tired to argue, and of course its a wedding, and that always means lots of food.

But honestly, the thing most abhorring to my friends about this no corn experiment? My inability to drink Jack Daniels. I might as well just become a Yankee.


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